That Darn Chest Cold!!!

A few months ago I found out that my friend Carolyn, a missionary from Indonesia was coming back to the Americas on furlough. I knew her parents still lived in Thunder Bay, so as soon as I found out when she was going to find her way up to TB - I booked my ticket.

Was greeted at the airport by my mom and her friend visiting from out of town. Arrived Friday afternoon and not even at my mom's house 3 hours and already out the door - BYE MOM!! - off having supper with Sandy. Ellen and I did our "dinner and a movie" outing on the Saturday. On the Sunday, I finally got to meet Heather's two little ones. Adorable and you can tell who's personality they take after. Rest of the Sunday I was visiting with my dad and his girlfriend Christine. Did something I have never done before - play scrabble at Friendship Park. Different but it was a quiet day at the park and the main company we had were the ducks.

Monday morning - BANG!! Even though I tried to stay away from my mom's friend who had a terrible cough - was not so lucky. I got that nasty chest cold that is going around. Laid low on Monday and cancelled my plans on Tuesday. But I was so fortunate enough I felt better to see Carolyn today.
Down-swing to this cold - I had to change my plane ticket and instead of going to Toronto tomorrow to visit my brother and another friend; I am heading westward back to my home in Calgary. Thank you Westjet as they waved the administration fee, so I didn't have to pay a penny for the switch. Up-swing - I got to relax with my mom, enjoying her wonderful backyard garden and playing a few great games of Scrabble. Great points too - high 200s and low 300s. Plus we each got a 7-letter word in the same game!! Good times as we played alot when I used to live at home.

Well - I don't have to be at work until Tuesday - so plenty of rest and fluids and the dry Alberta air I hope will do the trick - too much happening at work to get sick now (exciting things too).

Inspiration from an unlikely source

Through my learning process - I am finding words of inspirations from some unlikely sources. The most notable one - the gift shops within the Calgary hospital sites. The other is Facebook!

Was at Rockyview the other day, went into the main gift shop by my office - just behind the counter were bookmarks (from Blue Mountain). Two seem to call out to me saying "buy me", which I did. One bookmark was about having Friends for Life and the other is a Strength of a Woman (who knew 2 days later that is what I would be covering in my session).

This is what the bookmark said:

Strong women are those who know the road ahead will be strewn with obstacles, but they still choose to walk it because it's the right one for them.

Strong women are those who make mistakes, who admit to them, learn from those failures, and then use that knowledge. They fail time and again, but still keep trying until they succeed.

Strong women face the daily trials of life, sometimes with a tear but always with their heads held high as the new day dawns.

I took comfort in the middle verse - I might fail but do not quit - continue to learn from that obstacle that occurred. It is not a sign of weakness.

My Facebook (online Social outlet) provided words that just speak to me.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Pretty cool statement I think.

Do you have "M" in you?

During my counselling session today - the focus was our inner strength and with that you can find your voice to say "Here I am!!". One of the learning curves I am processing is "how I interpret critisim?". Since the beginning of April, I have absorbed the "whole critism" as a reflect of me personally, therefore an attack. It has caused great stress for me these past couple of months. My counsellor shared that when someone is giving you a critism of your performance (even if it is constructive critism) - hold it out front don't absorb it all - take like 5% ownership and work with that to improve your skill set, which could be taking a course to hone that particular skill. The rest - basically give it over to God and let him take care of it. Its that 5% where you can see growth through the learning process and through that comes ones strength.

So wondering where "M" figures into all of this? As I am a visual learner - We were looking for an example of a strong woman who demonstrates she has compassion (soft side) but to succeed in that business that is male-dominant she illustrates she can be tough as nails and take no guff from anyone (including 007). We both agreed, it is not only the character but when you watch on TV interviews Judi Dench shows that same strength. When observing Judi Dench on TV, you can see her self-confidence but at the same time see her elegance and feminism. It is interesting how we agreed that another British actress that shared similar characteristics to Judi Dench is Helen Mirren.

As my counsellor and I were wrapping our session, she wanted to share that the healing within is occurring, baby steps right? Putting in safeguards or tools to handle better critism or "perspection of your picking on me" feeling - that backbone or broad shoulders I have mentioned in past entries develop - the inner strength we all have, comes to the surface for others to see. She shared - she see my "M" beginning to show - comes with my inner growth beginning and in knowing my confidence in my work, knowing my passion and pride for my work and to know I am going to be on a lifelong journey of learning my own strengths and limitations.

So my question for you - Have you found your "M"?

Finding my voice and release

If I had to define my June - it was a month of hard lessons learned; finding within my peers who I could confide and vent frustrations too as well as finding my voice.

In April I accepted the temporary position as Coding coordinator. I knew accepting this position there would be a learning curve, plus I had some behind-the-scene knowledge (inter-departmental personality conflicts) that could be an issue for me and I would need to develop the necessary problem solving skills to resolve them. I knew there will be times I would stumble - and from what I have been told - you dust off, learn from your mistake that caused you to stumble and move forward remembering what you just learned adapting into your performance.

It seems the "issues" I would be adapting to is a micromanaging style where it seems I could do nothing correct or not meeting to their standards. Feeling like you are under a microscope and documents you worked hard on gets dissected to the max - it does a number on your self-confidence and you begin to question "why did you hire me in the first place?". I remember in school hearing of a Micromanaging style - so I googled it. Yes - that is what I am facing. One of the solution actions - quit or change jobs. Well I am not doing either of those.

I am now officially completed my training as a coding coordinator - last week of June I began working at PLC and RGH sites throughout the week. My first day as CC - I had to give a presentation to the new Residents about Data Collection (coding & abstracting). I had a rough beginning but I think ended strong (the presentation is only 5-10 mins). Upon review of my performance - I acknowledged areas where I need to improve the next time there is a presentation representing Data Collection. Then the dissection began - inadequate info given in the presentation, need to improve speaking in big crowds and strongly recommend taking a Toastmaster course (okay in a period of 2 months they have "strongly recommend" me take 5 courses to improve my "managerial skills"). I guess you can say I slipped - my resume did not reflect I had previous management/authority experience to resort to but had some experience in leadership (coding trainer for almost 4 yrs). Of course, I would not have "managerial skills" after accepting the position and my "formal training" did not occur until 2 months after I accepted the position. Those 2 months I was going on instinct and did my best under the circumstances.

Well somewhere I found the confidence to give my frustration a voice last week. I explained that the other coding coordinator went over the slides that have been used for the past few years at these presentation (so was blamed for slide information that I had no part of putting together) and finally told this person she puts me in knots and to stop picking on me. Unfortunately she does not think her actions would reflect the statement "picking on me".

So my learning curve will come from reacting and adapting to different managerial styles while maintaining a working environment that promotes positivity as well as learning and strengthening ones skills-set. This position is to end Sept 2011 - I foresee I will become a stronger person - to find that backbone and voice my feelings when warranted. To be proud of what I am contributing to my coding team.

I don't know if I have done myself any favours by my expression last week - but must admit it felt good to tell her how she makes me feel. A friend of mine suggested to read the book (which I bought this weekend) - People Styles at Work: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better. It will be interesting to see what the book says. Another suggestion was to great a "Feel Good Email" folder - put emails that acknowledge your positive skills - so when you feel low - read one of those emails it should bring a smile to your face or de-stress you that other see what you are accomplishing.

Thank you for your prayers and comments - it has helped me these past few weeks.

The Garden is growing

The Clamais is taking root - I can't wait to see purple flowers bloom

The green bean and snowpea plants are pushing through the clay soil - Maybe next month I will be enjoying fresh veggies at supper time!!

The front garden (above)

The backyard garden (above)

The Blooming Fields

Last weekend, I finally got to take Amy for her birthday present "Going out for tea" (Her birthday is in March!!). Three Hills has a great tea house, but I thought it would be nice to visit another tea house in the area. So I googled tea houses near Three Hills - there is one in Delia, one in Drumhellar and another one in Didsbury. We decided to go to Didsbury where The Blooming Fields is.

It is a definite keeper - we received a wonderful surprise - they have a gluten-free menu!!! Amy has Celiac disease (have to eat gluten-free products). The sun was shining with a small breeze - we enjoyed our lunch out on the outside patio with our Canadian Breakfast tea. In the Greenhouse we found "chocolate mint" plant which Amy bought 2 for her gardens. We had a wonderful day together - drive and lunch.

We were treated so well by the owners and their staff - Tabby the cat (unfortunately gave Amer a fright as the cat decided to take a shortcut under our table) and Henry the Rooster. Amy and I were amazed to see Henry's back claw - neither of us have seen one this long before. It was quite interesting watching him walk without cutting himself.