How do you grow a "thick skin"?

April 29th I officially could use the title "Coding Coordinator" but things have come up that my training for this position is not occurring until mid-June. One of the things that have come up was representing the HIM professional - Health Information Management Professional. One of my sites has been involved in a pilot project that interwines data quality (coding from me and other coding specialists) and continuing providing and improving patient care. This pilot concentrated on only 3 services. As a coding specialist - I found the chart reviews that we did on Friday and today a great learning and educational tool. It was a honour to be able to be part of something like this magnitude involving other health care providers as well as clinicians (aka doctors/nurse practioners). Having received some feedback from those involved int he chart review process gain a small appreciation of what coding specialists do, sort of provides a validation of what our contribution is to the local as well as the provincial health care system.

My "thick skin" comment comes from the feedback I have received from my boss. From my counselling we have both agree I have suffered from self issues - esp self confidence and self esteem. One of the things my counsellor is trying to point out - when a critism is directed towards me try to not to personalize it. It is easier said then done as this is my nature - internatize and when critism/comments are direct to be about my person I take them personally. In learning self-awareness, I am realizing I need to re-format this thinking of the critism is to be structive therefore is mentioned so that I may see an area I can improve upon and in a way would also increase my self -confidence. This week though - it has the opposite affect - having "structive critism" mentioned to me back to back in private mtgs over a half hour in length - attacked my self-confidence - questioning if I made the right decision in accepting this new position. Friday I sort of had a small snap with my boss - and was totally honest with her on how this is affecting me - a positive, a negative, a positive, a negative routine daily - the critism on how I need to improve upon my email content writing (size of email), my communication as well as listening skills. By Friday night I was mentally exhausted - I thought to go to a movie for some downtime - I was too tired for that. Basically this past weekend - stayed in my PJs and either vegged watching tv shows I had taped or slept.

So how do you grow a thick skin or a backbone so when your boss or anyone for that matter directs a comment/remark that normally would attack my self confidence or self worth and allow it to not exhaust me mentally or affect me personally - like it did this weekend? Learn to roll off my shoulder - easier said than done in my case. I wish there was a store or a magic wand for this - unrealistic of course as I know it has to come within me. Believing in me once again.

What I know for fact - I accept I have much to learn about being in a lower management level position - but I do not what to change the person I am beginning to enjoy again - someone who knows she is a contributing member to a team and is beginning to see "joy" in things personally and professionally (having a glimpse of the what the future holds with the data quality component of my field.)

A quote I saw on my counsellor's table - "Determine to live life with flair and laughter"